If You Feel Lost I Wrote This For You

If you feel lost, I wrote this for you…

“So, what do you do if you don’t know what you want–where do you go?”

You decide that you want happiness, and then you go wherever you find that is.

You find it in the rattling of your bones when you hear a good song;

you find it in the tiny hairs on your arm that reach out in ovation when something inspires you;

you find it in words, pressed between your favorite journal pages like poppies;

you find it clinging to the soft parts of your body like sand after a long beach day, when you’re half-wrapped in your towel like a mermaid in the car,

your head resting against the glass with your eyes closed, and you can feel the sun warming the thin of your eyelids;

you find it in the corners of your mom’s smile when you tell her what she means to you, or in the deep crevices of your dad’s palms from years of working with his hands;

you find it in the one-way relationships you choose to walk away from, the dead plants you choose to stop watering

to create that room in your heart it’s been begging for;

you find it in that thing you keep putting off until tomorrow

the next day…

next week…

maybe…

Do it today.

You find it in what you discover in what you’ve never experienced before;

you find it in practicing “I love you” out loud–the same as “No,” the same as, “Yes.”

It’s in you leaving your job because it makes you miserable;

It’s in every reason you can think of to peel yourself out of bed every morning,

even when you don’t want to– don’t feel bad about hitting Snooze; so long as your two feet make it to the ground, you are doing okay.

It’s in your dog’s whipping tail that harmonizes her tapping nails when she sees she gets to spend another day with you–your cutest and underrated biggest fan.

it’s in the space between your Welcome mat and kitchen sink, the few steps you get to calm down,

wash your hands of a day’s worth of reaching and grabbing for things that you want to be meant for you.

Reach for what your soul is pulling you towards;

it knows what will make you happy. Trust it.

And where are you going from here?

You’re going to find your happiness;

you’re going to come back;

you’re going to free yourself from being too much of anything–too scared, too tired, too overworked, too self-conscious, too forgetful–

Practice not being too much of anything but authentically you.

Build yourself a home in it;

draw a map of your bones down the staircase, decide which joint will make the best pillow, and put yourself to bed

before the sun comes back up

before you can think of a million reasons to rob yourself of rest;

leave your accomplishments like pencil lines to mark your heights in the basement– to remember why you’re here.

You’re here to be happy; you’re here to be loved.

You are loved.

Act like it.

Love,

Lee